Heaven and Hell Working Backwards
Lately, I've been wondering why there are times when I look back on some of the worst times in my life and feel...well, the feeling is difficult to describe...but it is not a bad feeling, but more a mix of good feelings.
Don't misunderstand. I have no nostalgic or depraved wish to relive my worst moments in life, but when I am closest to God, I see those moments through a brighter and crisper lens. When close to God, I get hints of His purpose and see glimpses of my growth through or as a result of my sorrows, sufferings, and sins. I see His hand at work in my life. I better recognize that the sorrows, sufferings, and sins of my past have shaped my present. I can trace my greatest growth as a Christian back to my worst moments.
Similarly, when I stray from His side, memories of my worst moments drag me down and depress me. They seem meaningless, painful, or shameful. They inspire dread and worry.
So on the one hand, when I draw close to the Lord, I feel comforted because I can see Him at work. My memories of the most hellish moments in life take on a heavenly quality. On the other hand, if I draw away, my most hellish memories are just that (hellish), and they fill me with despair.
Pondering this further, I thought of C.S. Lewis' book, The Great Divorce. In it, George MacDonald is made to say that, "Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even...agony into glory." Likewise, he says that, "damnation will work back and back...and contaminate the pleasure of sin. Both processes begin even before death." Heaven and hell will work backward to transform our past so that it conforms to either heavenly goodness or hellish badness. "...The Blessed will say, 'We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven,' and the Lost, 'We were always in Hell.' And both will speak truly."
If we can perceive this process occurring in our own day-to-day lives, what a tremendously wondrous or else alarming prospect it is. Let us all pray that we remain ever close to our Lord and Savior so that "when the sun rises here and the twilight turns to blackness there," we too can truly say, "We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven."
The brief quotations above are taken from C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce (New York: Harper Collins Publishers, 2000).
Don't misunderstand. I have no nostalgic or depraved wish to relive my worst moments in life, but when I am closest to God, I see those moments through a brighter and crisper lens. When close to God, I get hints of His purpose and see glimpses of my growth through or as a result of my sorrows, sufferings, and sins. I see His hand at work in my life. I better recognize that the sorrows, sufferings, and sins of my past have shaped my present. I can trace my greatest growth as a Christian back to my worst moments.
Similarly, when I stray from His side, memories of my worst moments drag me down and depress me. They seem meaningless, painful, or shameful. They inspire dread and worry.
So on the one hand, when I draw close to the Lord, I feel comforted because I can see Him at work. My memories of the most hellish moments in life take on a heavenly quality. On the other hand, if I draw away, my most hellish memories are just that (hellish), and they fill me with despair.
Pondering this further, I thought of C.S. Lewis' book, The Great Divorce. In it, George MacDonald is made to say that, "Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even...agony into glory." Likewise, he says that, "damnation will work back and back...and contaminate the pleasure of sin. Both processes begin even before death." Heaven and hell will work backward to transform our past so that it conforms to either heavenly goodness or hellish badness. "...The Blessed will say, 'We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven,' and the Lost, 'We were always in Hell.' And both will speak truly."
If we can perceive this process occurring in our own day-to-day lives, what a tremendously wondrous or else alarming prospect it is. Let us all pray that we remain ever close to our Lord and Savior so that "when the sun rises here and the twilight turns to blackness there," we too can truly say, "We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven."
The brief quotations above are taken from C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce (New York: Harper Collins Publishers, 2000).
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