The Best Room

 

Fred Rogers once said,

"When I see a baby quietly staring at his or her own hands... or a toddler off in a corner putting something into a cup and then taking it out, over and over again... or a preschooler lying in the grass daydreaming, I like to think that they, in their own ways, are 'alone in the best room' of their houses, using the solitude they need to find the courage to grow."

 

Adults need quiet solitude too.  In a world full of raucous noise, endless distraction, mindless entertainment, infinite information, angry bickering, and depressing news, we sometimes need quiet solitude just to hang on to our sanity and make it from one day to the next. However, the maddening pace of our lives and loud demands of our culture can make it very challenging to find that place of quiet solitude for ourselves.  

There is work to do, bills to pay, families to care for, friends to visit, groceries to buy, social activities to attend, laundry to clean, dishes to wash, movies and TV shows to watch, news to keep up with, and a never-ending stream of videos, articles, advertisements, job aids, emails, photos, and posts to view.  Inevitably, my phone rings every time I sit down for dinner, and the instant messages and text messages only take a break between 10 PM and 6 AM (and sometimes, not even then).  I find myself thumbing through the news whenever I have two or three minutes in between everything else that is coming at me.

It's no wonder that so many of us are anxiety-ridden, fearful about the future, exhausted, and looking ahead to the next day off, next vacation, or counting down our days until the kids can drive, or leave home, or we can retire. 

All of these things should tell us how much we all need quiet solitude, but the difficult part about finding quiet solitude is that we will never find it.  We have to create it.  

To hear my own thoughts over the din of life's noise, I have to turn off the television, music, computer, and phone.  I have to carve out a place in my hectic schedule and guard it as though my very soul depended on it.  I have to create a place where I can spend a few minutes where I am undisturbed by co-workers, friends, neighbors, and family.  And, then, in order to hear the voice of my Creator, I have to turn off my own internal babbling and chatter so that I can listen.

Only I can do this.  No one else is going to do it for me.  If I don't do it, it won't happen.  And, if I don't do it, I never give myself time to enjoy being "alone in the best room" of my house.

Lest we think that this is something that is a challenge unique to those of us living in the 21st century, Thomas à Kempis wrote on this topic nearly 600 years ago in his book, The Imitation of Christ.  This leads me to wonder whether our failure to create quiet solitude is more related to our priorities, rather than technology, pace, and societal evolution.  His advice is just as applicable today as it was back then:

"Reserve a convenient proportion of your time for private time and conversing with yourself; and let this be spent in frequent and thankful reflections upon the mercies of God and in reading good books. Among which I advise you, by all means, to let alone nice disputes and unprofitable speculations; and keep to such subjects as may be proper for the exciting [of] your zeal and quickening [of] your affections rather than such as may employ the subtlety of your wit.   For if you will prevail with yourself to abate the mere impertinences of life, the unnecessary conversations, the time spent in hearing and telling of news, in inquiring after and spreading about idle reports, and such as are faulty or frivolous wastings of your time, you cannot want for sufficient leisure and great opportunities for cherishing and improving holy and heavenly meditations. Thus did the most eminent saints industriously avoid company and business, and chose to converse with God in private, as much as and as often as possibly they could."

 

He goes on to say:

 

"Leave the vanities of the world to the vain men of the world; but consider that you are a child of God, and therefore bend your thoughts and labours entirely to those things which your heavenly Father requires at your hands. Invite that Jesus, in whom your soul delights, into your [room]; there solace yourself with His love; for in that conversation, only true peace and solid joy are to be found."

When was the last time you made an appointment to be alone with yourself and with God?  You're the only one who can press pause and make it happen.

(Penguin Random House published several books by Fred Rogers over the years.  The Imitation of Christ, by Thomas à Kempis, is one of the most oft read books in history and is still in print.  It is sold by most major booksellers.)