Friends
In today's sermon, our pastor discussed how evangelism and friendship are inextricably linked. (After all, Christ set the supreme example by giving his very life for his friends: "No one has greater love than this, that one should lay down his life for his friends.")
The quality, depth, consistency, and fidelity of our friendships are a testimony to others...and not just to our friends, but to all of those around us, as well. Our friendships should always be characterized by compassion, mercy, forgiveness, honor, humility, and grace. Where we fail in this, we fail in our witness.
Earlier this week, I was pondering the words to Sara Groves' song entitled, "Loving a Person." I love the lyrics to this song. She captures just how difficult it can be to love a person, and how much grace we need to do it well. Whether we look for offense or for love, we will find it. Sometimes, it is hard to overlook each others' mistakes and offenses and to concentrate on love instead, but "loving a person just the way they are" demands that we do just that.
Sara Groves' song also reminds us how painful it can be to reach out and be vulnerable...
One of the most pivotal, life-changing moments in my life occurred in a conversation I had in middle school with a youth pastor. I called him late one evening, desperate for advice. I told him that I was struggling to make friends.
I remember him asking me, "Danny, what is the most important component of friendship?" I thought for a moment and replied, "Trust. Without trust, you can't have a friendship." He replied, "That's important," and there was silence on the line. After a moment or two, I decided that my answer must have been incorrect.
Determined to guess at the right answer, I said, "Communication. Without communication, you can't have a friendship. After all, friends have to talk." He replied, "That's important," and again, there was silence on the line.
Still intent on guessing the right answer, I said, "You have to need each other or have something in common. Without that, you can't have a friendship." He replied, "That's important," and again, there was silence on the line.
This went on for several more minutes. I would offer an answer, and he would invariably reply, "That's important," and I became more and more irritated and frustrated. Finally, I reached the limit of my patience and said, "I have no idea what the most important component of friendship is."
He replied with one word: "Time."
Suddenly, it dawned on me that I couldn't sit at home and wallow in self-inflicted solitary confinement and hope to make friends. I had to spend time with people, and that was the one thing I wasn't doing. I preferred my room full of books where I was safe and secure.
To most people, this seems like a no-brainer. For me, it was a shift of monumental proportions. I had to go out into the world of others and spend time there. I had to trust, and trust is risky.
I'm so glad I took the time and took the risk, for I found a wealth of friends; I treasure you all and give thanks to God for you. I also treasure every minute spent with you. I pray I consistently show you compassion, mercy, forgiveness, honor, humility, and grace.
Yours in Christ,
Danny
The quality, depth, consistency, and fidelity of our friendships are a testimony to others...and not just to our friends, but to all of those around us, as well. Our friendships should always be characterized by compassion, mercy, forgiveness, honor, humility, and grace. Where we fail in this, we fail in our witness.
Earlier this week, I was pondering the words to Sara Groves' song entitled, "Loving a Person." I love the lyrics to this song. She captures just how difficult it can be to love a person, and how much grace we need to do it well. Whether we look for offense or for love, we will find it. Sometimes, it is hard to overlook each others' mistakes and offenses and to concentrate on love instead, but "loving a person just the way they are" demands that we do just that.
Sara Groves' song also reminds us how painful it can be to reach out and be vulnerable...
One of the most pivotal, life-changing moments in my life occurred in a conversation I had in middle school with a youth pastor. I called him late one evening, desperate for advice. I told him that I was struggling to make friends.
I remember him asking me, "Danny, what is the most important component of friendship?" I thought for a moment and replied, "Trust. Without trust, you can't have a friendship." He replied, "That's important," and there was silence on the line. After a moment or two, I decided that my answer must have been incorrect.
Determined to guess at the right answer, I said, "Communication. Without communication, you can't have a friendship. After all, friends have to talk." He replied, "That's important," and again, there was silence on the line.
Still intent on guessing the right answer, I said, "You have to need each other or have something in common. Without that, you can't have a friendship." He replied, "That's important," and again, there was silence on the line.
This went on for several more minutes. I would offer an answer, and he would invariably reply, "That's important," and I became more and more irritated and frustrated. Finally, I reached the limit of my patience and said, "I have no idea what the most important component of friendship is."
He replied with one word: "Time."
Suddenly, it dawned on me that I couldn't sit at home and wallow in self-inflicted solitary confinement and hope to make friends. I had to spend time with people, and that was the one thing I wasn't doing. I preferred my room full of books where I was safe and secure.
To most people, this seems like a no-brainer. For me, it was a shift of monumental proportions. I had to go out into the world of others and spend time there. I had to trust, and trust is risky.
I'm so glad I took the time and took the risk, for I found a wealth of friends; I treasure you all and give thanks to God for you. I also treasure every minute spent with you. I pray I consistently show you compassion, mercy, forgiveness, honor, humility, and grace.
Yours in Christ,
Danny
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