This poor sinner's thoughts on prayer
Our Life Group's study on prayer has had me thinking this week about how easy it is to dream about growing in our Christian walk without making any headway.
Over the past year, I've become more and more urgent about growing closer to Christ through prayer. As many Christians know too well, once you have a full-time career (especially one that requires you to travel), a house, a spouse and a couple kids, well...consistent prayer life becomes pretty difficult.
So, I began reading more books on prayer and Christian maturity. I began dreaming of building my own personal prayer closet. (Okay, so I'm a little eccentric.) I started planning how to better arrange my schedule to accommodate more alone time with God. In fact, dreams of spiritual growth began to preoccupy me much of the time. One day soon, I would start doing this, and start doing that, and I would make all kinds of progress in my spiritual life. In fact, I soon congratulated myself on a job well-done...that I had not yet begun.
I kept reading books on prayer without putting any of my new knowledge into practice. I was dreaming of building a personal prayer closet without even cleaning it out. I was dreaming of praying more without actually spending one extra minute alone with God. I woke up one day and realized that it was all in my head. Self-congratulation turned into frustration.
So, I cleaned out the closet and converted it into my own personal prayer space. I re-arranged my schedule to accommodate more alone time with God...and I congratulated myself on a job well-done. Still, nothing happened.
I woke up one day and realized that it was all in my head, and again, self-congratulation turned into frustration. I wasn't spending one extra minute alone with God. I wasn't growing any closer to Him. I couldn't believe that as much as I kept dreaming and longing for spiritual growth, I had made so little progress.
Well, one day, I was sitting on my bed reading Brennan Manning's book, The Furious Longing of God, where he challenges his readers to stop monitoring their spiritual growth and just pray (page 70). I decided right then and there to try it...I would stop monitoring my progress and start praying, and in that very moment, I did. I decided that I would entrust my spiritual growth to God, and I would simply pray. I stepped into my prayer closet (eccentric or not) and asked the good Lord to take me just as I am and draw me closer to Him.
I've quit watching the clock to make sure I spend the proper amount of time alone with Him. I don't criticize myself for not remembering to pray when I encounter some daily challenge. I don't beat myself up for failing to be better at prayer. I don't follow a specific pattern or use a checklist. Instead, I just pray as often as I can, wherever I am...and what a difference He is making in my life!
Yours in Christ,
Danny
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